The Worded Update
So, for the first time in a while, I updated my portfolio (I know, how professional!), and I realised one particular trend; I'm a quitter.
Don't get me wrong, I've been doing the whole “art” thing for many years, too long in fact (before many of you were probably even born, and I'm only 30), but I've ruined a few great opportunities by not giving it my all.
Firstly, I had a dream of writing books, which, I accomplished, I have two books published and a third in the making. But that third has been in the making for a long time. Truth is, I haven't looked at it for quite some time. Now, it is true when people say “it'll take as long as it takes”, but I really do need to sit down and see if I can bring the time down to something more, achievable.
So for that, at least, I can honestly say I set out and managed to successfully do it, and I did, and I'm proud. Both were well received, and hey, even if they wasn't, I still did it.
But then my biggest dream was to have a comic published, and I was incredibly lucky enough to be taken on by WP Comics, with a minimum 3 issue deal, which was beyond amazing. After the initial hiring, I presented to them my idea, with character designs, a sample overview synopsis, blurbs for the first 3 issues and a sample script, everything was golden. They loved it, I was happy, and I got to work.
But then things were happening in my personal life, and I had to take a step back. I spoke to Mark (head of WP) and he was totally fine with it “just get back to us when you can” he said, “there's no deadline yet, soon as the first issue is ready, that's when we'll be putting out deadlines”. So that was that sorted.
Only I never got back to it, and time got longer and far between, and I had to tell Mark I wasn't going to be able to do it. We agreed that I could have a team, I could just do the script, and for the first time ever, I had pencillers, inkers, and people to colour my ideas, to make my comic, to make my dream.
But that wasn't what I wanted, at least for my first comic. I wanted it to be me, as selfish as it was, I wanted the glory. Not only that, there's a certain way you see things when you're an artist, and the easiest way to portray those ideas to other people, is to show them, and if I show them, then I've done the work.
Unfortunately, I had to pass on the comic, and I've not asked to go back, even though I've been told I'm welcome to. There's just a little bit of pride left in me (just a little).
So after a while I decided to go about it on my own. My script, my pencils, my inks, my colours, in my own time.
Needless to say there's been plenty of thrown away ideas, plenty of projects started (Held Up by Heroes, Barely Hero and Quiche Noir), yet none have gotten a full issue. And I don't know why. All I do when I'm not doing Podcast vs Player (or being a dad) is draw, yet I can knock out 10 pieces a week of random art, but not a single page of a blasted comic!
And then today, as I was updating my portfolio, I suddenly realised why, and it's not because I'm a quitter. It's because I get bored of my own work. Not that it's dire (although some pieces are questionable), but because it's been done before. Every single comic I've come up with has in some capacity been done, and probably been done better.
So, my new aim is, create a comic. A webcomic (although my previous webcomics have lasted an awful long time, 1-Up Max went on for a year before it finished its run), a print comic, whatever, just do one.
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